Quotes from Stargate SG-1
Cameron Mitchell (Ben Browder)

Teal'c: Where is the rest of your team, Colonel Mitchell?
Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Actually it's still kind of SG-Me.

Mitchell: Wow. Politics really does suck everywhere you go.
Teal'c: Indeed.

Mitchell after being turned down by the former SG-1: Well, Walter. Doesn't look like we're getting the band back together.

Vala to Mitchell: I know we haven't met. That, I'm sure I would remember.

Mitchell: Merlin. King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table Merlin?
Jackson: Yes.
Mitchell: Was an ancient.
Jackson: I think so.
Mitchell to Teal'c: See! That is what I'm talking about!

Mitchell: Ladies first.
Vala to Jackson: Well then, after you.

Mitchell: Well I suppose after you save the world 7 or 8 times...
O'Neill: Who's counting.
Mitchell: Teal'c actually. He mentions it all the time.

Mitchell: This is great. We got the band back together!
Carter about Vala: So what's with the extra back-up singer?

Mitchell after Daniel's rather brief speech to the Prior: That's it? Daniel nods. I just gave him 30 minutes.

Lord Haikon: How will we know when it is working?
Mitchell: We'll know when the Prior is no longer able to use his powers.
Jolan: How will we know when he will be no longer able to use his powers?
Mitchell: Well. Someone is just going to have to test it and find out.
Silence all around.
Mitchell: Don't worry, fellas. That someone is me.

Mitchell: Symptoms may include: dizziness, irritability—
Jackson: Nausea—
Mitchell: Mild nausea. And a condition known as "hot dog fingers."

Mitchell: General! We were just exchanging recipes.
General Landry: I heard. Has he offered up anything?
Mitchell: No sir. The man doesn't even have a decent pie crust.

Mitchell: So, do you... live here on your own?
Dr. Reya Varrick: Why do you ask?
Mitchell: It's a big place. I don't know. Just curious, I guess.
Dr. Reya Varrick: I thought that was your clever way of asking if I was married.
Mitchell: I'm not that clever.

Mitchell: So you're saying that somewhere, in an alternate universe, I got to second base with Amy Vanderberg?
Carter: Theoretically, yes.
Mitchell: Boggles the mind, don't it!

Carter: As we discussed the situation, we realized we could pinpoint the source of the phenomenon to a precise window. Specifically the interim journey between the two gates.
Mitchell: Did she just say "we"?
Carter: Pardon me?
Jackson: She said "we". You said "we"?
Carter: Ah, me and... myself, I suppose. The other Samantha Carter.
Mitchell: Right. Finally someone who can keep up with you, huh?
Carter: Yep.

Mitchell: What if there are more teams coming in hot, Sir?
Landry: I'm willing to make the occasional exception, but I am not about to turn this base into the Grand Central Station of the Multiverse.

Mitchell: You know, I've read mission reports on the Asgard, they're not what I was expecting.
Carter: What were you expecting?
Mitchell: I don't know... pants for one.

Black Uniform Jackson: Wouldn't it have been easier just to zat him?
Black Uniform Teal'c: Easier, yes. But far less gratifying.
Black Uniform Mitchell: Did he just insult me?

Mitchell hitting the vending machine: Sorry Doc, you were wrong. Hitting it doesn't help.

Mitchell: Seriously. What are we doing here?
Jackson: Honest answer? PR for the Stargate program.
Mitchell: I'm telling you, today it's escorting foreign delegates on off-world tours, tomorrow it's comic book conventions and supermarkets.

Mitchell: I think we're good to go.
Teal'c: Perhaps we should keep any unnecessary conversation to a minimum.
Mitchell: Okay.

Mitchell: Boy am I getting that Patrick Swayze in Ghost feeling. General, we need a Whoopi.

Mitchell: Roast beef. The one time I can't eat and they serve roast beef.

Teal'c swings at Mitchell
Mitchell: Hey, did you even think twice about that?
Teal'c: I did not.

Colonel Emerson: Why would the first wave just leave us behind? They had to know there were survivors.
Mitchell: They need witnesses. Their goal is not to kill us all, it's to convert us. Their wish is to go forth and tell everybody how they kicked our asses.

Carter hanging out in open space: I don't know what you can see from your vantage point or what your sensors are picking up, but from out here that mothership is pretty badly damaged. I would be surprised if they were weapons capable.
Emerson: Thanks Sam.
Mitchell: They haven't fired yet.

Mitchell: Hey, I'm all about a noble death. A pointless noble death on the other hand...

Bra'tac is attempting to fly the ship into the Ori
Mitchell: Teal'c, this is crazy and not the good kind of crazy. You know that.

Teal'c suddenly stops
Mitchell: What is it?
Teal'c: Birds.
Carter: What birds?
Teal'c: My point exactly.

Mitchell: Yeah, I was getting worked up, cussing at Teal'c, telling him to "go home. Leave me." It must have been 20 minutes that I realized he had gone home and I was sittin' there talking to myself.

Vala: Funny, he doesn't look excited.
Mitchell: Trust me. Like a kid who was up all night on Christmas Eve.
Vala: I thought we imposed a moratorium on cultural references I wouldn't understand.

Landry: Checkmate.
Mitchell: Yup. Too good for me, sir.
Landry: Pandering to the ego of a senior officer, Mitchell?
Mitchell: No. Truthfully I always hated the game. If you happen to have a Playstation I will happily kick your ass at Socom 3.

Mitchell: Maybe I'm not the only one around here who needs to relax.
Landry: I'll try not to shoot you before morning.
Mitchell: Thank you, sir.

Mitchell to Teal'c: You don't think that whoever's flying this boat is on a friendly trip, do you? no reaction No, me neither.

Carter: A member of this facility gets kidnapped unchallenged. It's no wonder he doesn't think we can protect him.
Jackson: But we can protect him.
Carter: Yeah, by locking him away for the rest of his life.
Mitchell: What can you say. That's the downside working for super villains.

Mitchell: Where are we going?
Vala: Just drive.
Mitchell: You know I'm bleeding here.
Vala: Shut up.

Vala: What are you doing?
Mitchell: Trying to see if I still have both my kidneys.

The team breaks down the motel door to find Mitchell handcuffed, naked and surrounded by junk food wrappers
Mitchell: This, ah, isn't what it looks like.

Mitchell: What?
Carter: Nothing. I just find it funny how you're always losing your pants.

Mitchell: Yep. She's a real beauty.
Vala: Stabilizers are a bit wonky, I'm afraid. Makes for a bumpy ride. But it's all perfectly safe.
Mitchell: Really?
Vala: Not exactly.
Jackson: We gave you as much raw naquadah as you needed and all you came up with was this piece of junk?
Vala: People's lives are at stake, Daniel. Do you honestly think that I cheaped out on the ship and pocketed the difference? an alarm goes off
Mitchell: What's that?
Vala: Life support seems to be failing. to Teal'c Can you take over? changes crystals and the alarm stops
Mitchell: Great, you fixed that. How about fixing the stabilizers?
Vala: Oh, I didn't fix anything. I just disabled that annoying alarm.

Alien: Shield failure is imminent. Damn you, Cam Mitchell!

Villager: I should warn you. No one has ever returned from the quest alive. If you value your lives, you would do well to reconsider.
Mitchell: We appreciate that, but that is quitter talk.

Barmaid: Are you certain I cannot tempt you with a final meal?
Mitchell: What is it with this town and a no-can-do attitude? Every time we turn around someone's trying to write us off or scare us away.
Barmaid: I apologize. I should have said "A final meal before you set off on your journey."
Mitchell: Well, that's better.
Barmaid: Although it need be said that in the many thousands of years that adventurers have been seeking the Sangraal, not one has succeeded.

Mitchell: Look, I know you have no reason to trust us anymore than you do those guys—
Barmaid: I have not seen you shoot anyone.
Mitchell: That's an excellent point. We're gonna need your help.

Mitchell: You should come with us.
Barmaid: My place is here. I'll be fine. Mitchell hesitates. I'll blame everything on you.
Mitchell: Good plan.

Carter: There's a circuitous path of real time winding through the temporal field.
Mitchell: It's a maze? It's a maze.

Osrick: This is it! The cave entrance. The Sangraal is located within.
Mitchell: It's too bad you won't be coming with us.
Ba'al: I thought I made it clear: you need me.
Mitchell: I wasn't talking to you.
Ba'al: Oh. Well, ah, allow me to get out of your line of fire.

Mitchell: Hey, you got anything?
Jackson: No. You?
Mitchell: No. But I'm getting a good tan.

Mitchellabout the dragon's name: So what are we supposed to do, just start guessing?
Vala: Darryl the dragon.
Mitchell: How 'bout Smokey?
Teal'c: Perhaps Puff.

Vala: Merlin's gone.
Mitchell: Well that's just ... weird.

Mitchell to Siler: They cancelled it? Really? I didn't even know a new season had started.

Mitchell: This is Adria, telling us where to go so she can pick us off.

Carter: She's using you, Vala.
Vala: No. I would know.
Mitchell: Well you didn't know before. Did you?

Mitchell to Adria: You didn't really think we'd invite you to a party and not disable your funky powers, did you?

Landry: How's Vala?
Mitchell: Pissed.

Landry: What do we do now?
Teal'c: Kill them both.
Mitchell: Hard to argue with that logic. It's a two-fer.

Adria: Have you decided what to do with me?
Mitchell: Well we're still weighing our options. Teal'c here had a good idea.
Ba'al/Adria: I can imagine.
Teal'c: No. You can't.

Teal'c: At least we may take comfort in the knowledge that Ba'al is dead.
Mitchell: Wouldn't put a deposit down on that.

UNENDING
Mitchell: I hope it's rayguns. I've got rayguns in the pool.

Mitchell: I said it before, I am for fighting to the death. But only if we have a plan. Preferably one that avoids the "death" part.

Mitchell: See what we need is, we need Superman to fly around the ship really really fast.

Mitchell: This is the Love Boat without the buffet and the band.

Mitchell: When I said that I wanted to get the team back together—work with you guys, learn from ya—I did not mean the next 50 years.
Carter: You said that yesterday.

Mitchell: What are you, 130 now?
Vala: I don't know. He doesn't look a day over 120 to me.

Landry: Good luck, SG-1.
Mitchell: Just another mission to save the galaxy, sir.
Everyone: Indeed.
Landry: God speed.